Ellei and Cj and Tsuki

"I solenmly swear I am up to no good." James said smiling. After we had all given up on trying to eat we grabbed our stuff to dump off in the common room before going back down to the grounds and the shrieking shack. As we walked up to the dorm James and Peter were talking happily but Remus seemed less into it. I slowed down to walk with him. "You ok Moony?" I asked him. "You seem a little down." We got to the common room and dumped our things in our room and left to walk back to the grounds. Peter, James and I always enjoyed the night but we never really stoped to wonder how Moony copped with the transformation. Once when he had tried to bring it up James had spotted Evans and bounded off to be an idiot leaving the rest of us to follow and see how Evans would kill him this time. Which was usually entertaining in the least and when James had come back sporting a black eye we'd all forgoten about it. I couldn't help but think we didn't really listen to him as much as we thought we did. Sure we usually faded out when he tried to read us a passage. I sighed and turned to my wolf friend.

I was surprised when, Sirius, out of all of us, was the one to ask if I was doing okay. Normally, it would've been Peter, who was always looking for an opportunity to be necessary, a reason for one of us to really need him. Of course, we all loved Peter, but I understood how he felt -- Sirius and James had been best mates from the get-go and occasionally we just felt like "those other two." I shakily quirked my mouth into a smile. "I'm as up as I could possibly be on a night like this," I said, feeling strange even talking about it. His grey eyes were actually solemn for once and for a moment I thought he might really be worried for me. I shook it off, guessing that he was probably just making sure I'd be up for all of our hijinks once the moon was up properly. "I mean, it's not exactly pleasant, you know, but I wouldn't want to horrify you with the details. It's not....it's not very nice, and I thank Merlin every day that I've never managed to get my teeth into one of you." I glanced over at Prongs and Wormtail who were still talking animatedly between themselves and sighed. We were out on the grounds now, and the sky was darkening shade by shade. I hated this part, I hated it with all my being and sometimes I thought I'd be better off just being done with it, but then I thought of how I'd never see James getting his arse hexed off by Lily again, I'd never see Peter with his big, excited eyes as he squeaked over something exciting. I'd never see Sirius, all smiles and laughter and grand ideas of how the world spun only for us. It was a hard life, but one I was willing to bear if I got to keep them with me. I managed a real smile this time. "It's alright thought, isn't it? I've got you lot, even if you do manage to lose all the points I win you."

I smiled back. "We did not lose you points you got us, you go the points we lost." I rethought over what I had said. "actually scrape that, it makes no sense." I watched my friend still not sure whether he was alright or if he was just pretending. "Are you two coming?" James called back at us. "Or are we going to have to go Marauding without you." We quickly sped up to catch up to James and Peter. "And we've got you." I smiled at my friend. We reached the whommping willow looking up into the swaying and deadly branches of the tree. The tree had been planted more Moony, so that no-one would stumble across him when he was a wolf. What Dumbledore didn't know and it wouldnt be wise to enlighten him that remus didn't stay in the shreaking shack when he transformed. I frowned slightly, we were being reckless. I then shook the idea from my head, I was a Marauder. I didn't care about rules. I swore I was up to no good. Didn't I? I did. I had.

I couldn't help but laugh weakly at Sirius's strange logic on house points, and I actually started to feel a little bit brighter about things. It'd be alright, really, once I'd gotten all the changing done, wouldn't it? I wasn't sure. Things always went a little bit fuzzy after I woke up, human again, after the change. But then there was a day full of dozing on and off, and chocolate, and one of my Marauder friends chatting amicably at my side. Not to mention the whole night in-between when I was wholly the animal inside of me. It sometimes made me sick at myself that I actually liked that, running about all feral and deadly, but it was such a change from who I was in my normal life that I'd come to find it a pleasant vacation from being utterly boring. When we reached the willow, I stared up at it anxiously. It was dangerous, really, having something like this on the grounds, but I supposed it would be more dangerous for someone to have found me during those years when I went mad inside the shack, alone and with nothing to bite and tear at but my own changing body. I shuddered at the memories as Peter transformed, his clothes following to the ground with a soft thump. I grabbed them up carefully, knowing he'd want them back later when it was time to leave me to change back. He scurried over to push the knot on the tree that would stop the swaying of its branches and I scuffed my feet anxiously. This was always the awkward part; the part where I left my friends and took that walk into the place that I dreaded after so many terrible memories. There was always a good deal of elbowing and me trying not to hug anyone and then I was always nearly half-running to get away from all of it. I wondered if they had the forethought to feel sorry for me or if they felt just as they had when they'd found out, that it was unutterably cool. "Well," I said quietly, "guess that's where I get off then, eh?" I asked, looking at the general direction of James and Sirius's shoulders. I turned and took a few hesitant steps towards the tree, then quickened my steps. Better to get it over with.

I hurried along to the shack and when I got there, the view through the window told me that any second my body would be ripping its way into its deadly alternate form. I quickly shed my clothes; they had a tendency to rip if I kept them on during the change. I thought hard of how fun the night would be, and the next day, and that then it'd be a whole month until I had to deal with this again. Even as I imagined all the antics we could get up to, tried to distract myself from what was about to happen, I could feel an ache creep up through my bones. It started slow, hot, and less painful than one would imagine, but before long it was no longer a dull pulsing. I watched almost disconnectedly as the bones in my hand broke and stretched and grew into a clawed paw. Then there was only darkness and pain as every muscle and tendon twisted and ripped and knit back together, pulling my body in all different directions. My mind started to go soon, thankfully, and I was more wolf than boy and that was good because I couldn't think so much. Claw, tear, rip, kill echoed in my mind and suddenly I was grasping, clutching at the floor, the walls, myself. Anything to take my mind of the pain and, as I began to feel the wolf-mind fully, the hunger. I distantly heard a loud bark and then all the boy in me was gone. Wolf. Predator. Prey. Smells all around, sounds approaching, is it pack or prey? Pack, little rat feet going skritch and big paws thumping along and hooves, wide strong hooves following. The pack. It was hunting time. Rip, tear, kill, run. Beast.

The three of us ran through the passage. Wormtail behind so me and Prongs wouldn't walk on top of him. We got into the shreiking shack and came into contact with Moony in his wolf form. The word form didn't really work but I shrugged it off not caring. The werewolf turned and saw us, this happened every time, as Moony wasn't in his right mind and not sure who we were, we proceded to have our own little squabble which thankfully ended without anyone being hurt, by then Moony was slightly more in his mind then he had been. After playing around for a few minutes we dicided to get out and into the villiage.

I was more myself once I'd scuffled about with the pack, but I still craved the night air and I could smell the animals in the forest and roaming the village, the blood pumping through their veins distinct from the smells of safety and the pack. We abandoned the shack --empty, dusty, dead--and headed out into the village. Padfoot and I raced for a while, but my instincts always won out and I'd leave him behind, panting and barking for Prongs to head me off before I got too far to handle. Before long the quiet, sleeping village was too confining and we took off into the forest. The smells of the night and the light of the moon made my blood pulse hot and more than a few small wild animals met their end. The night was ours. I let out a howl that marked me as the hunter, the king of our territory.

Moony and I raced for abit but he got ahead as always. I barked to Prongs to stop him so we could keep him under controll. He raced ahead and managed to stop Moony before he got to ahead. Wormtail wasn't very useful at keeping Moony from attacking people but he helped to get into the shrieking shack. Moony howled and I barked, my bark was pitiful compared to his howl. We raced through the village me and Prongs making sure Moony was kept in line while still giving him free range, just not enough to disapear. Wormtail trailed behind, he was speedy of course just not as fast as us other three.

The night passed quickly in the thrill of the moon, pulling the blood through my veins, fast and urgent and wild. We scuffled a few times without real violence, just reveling in the freedom of the night. Before I knew it the wolf was receding more and more and the sky began to lighten. We raced back to the shack and then my friends were gone, leaving me to go through the change again, this time in reverse. Everything usually went sort of fuzzy and painful and black at that point, and then, in what could have been a thousand years or a few seconds, I was raising one sore arm to block out the bright sun coming into the hospital wing.I felt like I'd been trampled by a whole stampede of centaurs. My throat was dry and the light burned something awful. I let out a weak groan. Why did it have to be this bad every time?

The night passed in a funfilled daze. Soon the light was creeping above the tree's and we left Moony to change back into his state and for us to getback into our clothing and get to the dorm before anyoe realised that we had been out all night with a werewolf. We walked to the dorm quickly and thankfully no-one was about, we had been caught once but the teacher only preseumed we had gotten up early and forgotten to get our bags. Idiotic teacher, we nevr forgot anything and if we did, we used what reasources we had. Grabbing our bags we just walked straight down to breakfast. Me and Pete tried to remember who had spent the day with Remus last time. For some reason, James didn't like doing it, maybe it was because he hated seeing his freind so weak, I wans't sure. I ahd never asked him. Finally we figured out it was my turn to stay next to Remus for the day, after a rushed breakfast I bounded up to the hospital wing and took a seat by his bed.

"Morning Sunshine. The world says hello." I said when he opened his eyes. "Or soemthing of that sort, I don't remember."

Sunshine? I wondered as I the first sound to hit my aching ears came in the form of Sirius's voice. "Water now, greetings later," I croaked, reaching shakily for the glass of water on the bedside table. The liquid soothed my dry, scratchy throat and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed that it was Sirius sitting at my side. They seemed to take turns and at times I felt like maybe it was a burden, but then again, they got to miss class which they probably enjoyed. As I felt the last of the water trickle down the back of my throat I wiped my mouth with the sheet and leaned back against the pillows. "Well, we pulled it off again. They really are all clueless aren't they?" I asked, smiling. It was amazing that I had made it so many years without being completely exposed or doing something idiotic and terrible. I would have said something about how grateful I was, but that wouldn't have been welcomed very much from any of my unsentimental friends.

"Of course their clueless, how else would we get off with everything all these years. If they weren't clueless they would have realized it was James who bewitched all the pumkins to dogs on Halloween or-" I chatted on about stupid things we had done that had seemed amusing at the time that the teachers had never cottened onto. "Now that was a fun day." I smiled down at my werewolf freind. "Oh that reminds me, James sends his best wishes and Peter says your missing out on some test in Charms and he says that we're lucky. And James agrees with Peter and says that we should enjoy our day off and I said we would and that to try not to get yourself killed my Lily again while we're not there to knock some sence into him and he says that he will try not to but can't promise. So I think he is trying to ask her out again..."

I tried hard not to laugh as Sirius went off on a random tangent, basically describing his entire conversation with James. I knew that I would get all of my insides started aching if I laughed too hard. "Do you ever stop to think what you're saying? I swear it's like there's a little wind-up toy running your mouth and it never quits!" Then the rest of what he'd said hit me. "I'm missing the Charms exam? That's no good. That's no good at all. Oh, you're missing it too. We'll have to study all night tonight. I'm starting to think I just need to suck it up and go to classes on days like this." I moved to sit up and let out a groan. "On second thought..." I said, breathing in carefully and feeling a few of my ribs shift in my chest, "maybe it'll be okay. So, amuse me. You're so good at that." I pointed my wand at my empty glass of water and silently cast Aguamenti, filling it with cool, clear liquid. I offered it to Sirius.

I gulped down the water quickly and placed the glass back down. "Study? Oh dear Remus I think the full moon is getting to your head. I do not need to study, I know it all anyway." I grinned broadly at him. "And anyway I don't think I need to do the test, Professor Flitwick can see how good I am at the subject without testing me." I filled up the glass of water and gulped it all down again. I was full of energy which wasn't odd for me. Remus lay there looking slightly dead. "Cheer up Remus, you can take the test tomorrow and all shall be well, hmm I could get James to tell me the question actually..." He mused and trailed off wodnering if James would tell him or not. He could, I would for him, but would he for me? "I'll ask him about it later." He chipped. "And maybe I can bribe him-" i started rambling again and turned to look at my freind. "Oh how are you?" He said compeltly forgetting to ask it earlier. "I forgot my manners for a minute there. Quite like the time when James started-" And forgetting to wait for an answer he babbled on about what else James had done.

I watched as Sirius slugged the water back and drank, talking a hundred kilometers and hour about his usual topic -- James bloody Potter. Really, I love all my friends but it's hard to hear Sirius, who I fancied like mad (I can't believe I even just thought that. My brain must be damaged from the full moon, I'd never let myself think that properly), talk about how wonderful or how daft or how arrogant James was. It had gotten to where I really didn't want to hear his name anymore. Between Peter and Sirius, it seemed like the Marauders were turning into the James Potter fan club. Well, not I.

"Fine, I'm fine," I muttered under my breath, although I was sure I wasn't listening. "Hey, are you sure you don't just want to go to class? I'm fine alone," I said, trying to sound bright and healthy. "I'm sure you and Prongs could be off pranking someone as we speak if you weren't up here basically watching me nap."

"Im good." I muttered cheerily drinking more water. "I love watching you nap and it's gets me outof class. It's a win-win situiation." I beamed brightly at my freind. "I wonder if I can get Peter to swap with me next time...hmmm." I frowned slightly. "And he has fun just spending the day with James, and I have fun spending the day talking to you." I took a breath before continueing to babble. "And I saw Evans on my way up here and she asked what I was doing and I said I was spending the day with you and she asked if you were sick again and I said yes, you were and she shook her head and said to wish you well. If only James heard that..." I trailed off and frowned at a lack of things to say, I had picked up that Moony didn't like it when I talked about Prongs all the time. I thrummed m fingers on my other hand.

"Sirius Black do you ever stop talking?" The matron said coming out of her office all I can hear if a chirpy noise which is you never stopping to breath." She frowned. "Thankfully no-one else is in here." She turned around and left and I shrugged.

"Oh well, if someone else wasI'd probably have talked them into sleep." I smiled and got another glass of water.

"First I'm sunshine, now you like to watch me nap?" I asked, not knowing whether to laugh or be extremely confused. I shook my head and moved on to the next subject. "I'm sure Peter does like getting some time alone with James, you two are like the Wonder Twins, nobody else can get a word in." When he made a face at me, I remembered that Sirius wouldn't know anything about Muggle comics of tv shows. "Muggle thing. And Lily asked about me? She really is a nice girl. Probably a smart idea not getting into anything with James, he'd try to convert her into a Marauder."

I laughed when the matron made remarks about Sirius never even stopping to breathe. I liked listening to him talk straight from his train of thought; it was free and loose in a way that I never reallly spoke. It's not that he's not smart, it's just that he doesn't filter anything that he thinks before he says it. I sighed. "Sirius, do you ever have thoughts that you don't share with the whole world? I mean, you don't have any secrets?"

"Secrets?" I shook my head. "Nah, nothing in the world that either you, James, Peter or some other loser doesn't know about me." I made a face. "Maybe I should make a secret just to see if I can keep one." I stood silent for 25 seconds trying to think of something no-one knew. I sighed. "Nup, nothing, nothing at all. I fail at thinking of something no-one else knows." I turned to him curious. "What is your secret that no-one else knows and spare me the rubbish of saying that if you told me it wouldn't be your secret anymore. I do NOT want to hear." I smiled broadly at him and got another glass of water. Spending the day with just Remus was fun, we talked about random junk and just hung out, without James asking Lily out half a dozen times and without Peter saying random stuff. It was nice, it was fun and all in all a good time. I yawned and turned back to him. "So..?"

I froze. There was Sirius, grinning broadly at me and asking to bare my deepest secret to him. It wasn't enough that he knew that I was a werewolf? Then again, it wasn't so strange to expect to know your best mate's secrets. When James first started noticing Lily, he told us right off, and when Peter discovered how to sneak into the kitchens, he brought us all there the next night. Sirius never had anything worth being a secret, really, because nothing was a big deal today. I gulped. We had been having such a nice time....I didn't want to lie to him, I knew he would know if I was lying. I frowned. "Well....reckon I might sort of fancy someone...." I mumbled under my breath, not looking him in the eye. Maybe he'd leave it at that, but I doubted I'd be that lucky,

"Ooh." I grinned broadly at him. "Who? Who? Who?" I said, I wasn't going to give up untill I had found out who it was he liked. remus had never ever ever fancied someone, not in his how ever long we'd been at Hogwarts. "We always tell you when we like someone so you need to tell us." I crossed my arms and looked at him. Stuborn little Gryffindor flashed into my head and I pushed it out, because the last person who had said that to me was regulas before I'd run away. I hadn't talked to him since for two reasons. One, he was partly the reason why I had run away and two I didn't see him much and when I did I ignored him. He followed that pureblood hostility that my parents had. I pushed tat all out of my head, I didnt want to think fo that right now. I looked at remus. "Well?"

Sirius looked so excited, he might as well have been Padfoot, running little circles and trying to knock me down with his big black paws. Instead, he was nearly bouncing in his seat with anticipation. I knew I was done for when he crossed his arms and stared me down. He'd never give up now, he was determined and I wondered if it would do any good to try to lie. I tried to think of anyone that I could pretend to fancy. I spoke well of Lily all the time, but that would get me killed by James so that was no good. All of the Slytherins were off-limit automatically. There was that girl Nymphadora (no, Tonks, she clocked someone once for being called Nymphadora) in Hufflepuff, but Sirius would never believe I'd go for someone with a shock of pink hair. I realized that I was taking too long in deciding and decided to just dodge the question. "It's not important. You'd be mad, anyway. You'd think I was barking."

I stared at him. "Remus Lupin you ARE going to tell me who you fancy, we are not leaving this room untill you do and trust me, I can miss all the charms classes in the world if I have too." I smiled dangerously at him. "I can also miss the charms test tomorrow." I was not going to give up, true to my word, Remus wasn't going anywhere until he told me who he fancied. "And don't try to dodge the question or lie, I know when you're lying, you're on of my best mates and I have expericne in these things. So start talking."

I rolled over so that I was facing away from him, my face turned down in a scowl. Was I really going to have to go through this? Wouldn't that be a lovely way for him to find out his mate's moony (excuse the pun) over him? "Ugh, Padfoot, I told you, you're going to be mad if I tell you. I really promise you that you don't want to know. You'll disown me from Marauderdom. You'll....you'll get a new bookworm and leave me to die buried in dust in the library."

"I would never be mad at you Moony." I said frowning wondering where he would get that idea. "Another bookworm? That's impossible, you're the biggest bookworm I know, including the Ravenclaws." I wondered where all this madness was coming from. "Why would I be mad at you for who you liked? I'm not mad at James for chasing the same girl since our first year, you don't get mad at us. Why would we be mad at you?" I was seriosuly puzzled. Who was this girl that would make me hate one of my best freinds. She was being a royal pain. Moony never had held secrets from us before, well expect being a werewolf but that was it. "If you dont tell me Moony, I will find out, I'll find a way to find out." He threatened.